There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm. -Willa Cather

When I was in the eye of the storm this summer, I comforted myself with the phrase, “One day this pain will mean something.” And it’s starting to mean something.

I learned how to deal with the end of a serious romantic relationship with the least amount of bitterness I could bear. Time heals all wounds. Do the least harm possible. The end of a relationship doesn’t hinder the ability to love in the future.

I learned how to walk away when the universe was telling me it was time to leave my job. Everything pressed at me, but fear was winning. And then it wasn’t winning anymore. And the fear didn’t matter. I walked away from something that wasn’t meant for me. As of right now, I’m not exactly sure where I’ll be working in two weeks’ time. I’ve had interviews and met amazing people with the same heart as me, and I’m excited to see where I’ll end up.

I learned how to tell my truths through this blog, both to people I know and strangers from across the world. What a weird thought- people are reading these vulnerable words over their coffee or they’re scrolling through while they sit in traffic. Hi. Thank you for reading.

I learned how much pain I could take. How many terrible thoughts. How far I could bend without breaking. How much I could break before healing. I learned I can take more than I thought I could and still survive.

Every month this summer, I seemed to shed off another old part of my being. June saw me rid myself of the identity as a girlfriend and saw the new independence and freedom of travelling to three new countries. In July, I left Greenville for good and moved back in with my parents. In August, I quit my toxic job. And I’ll still molt in shreds for a while; we all heal at different paces, and I refuse to deny myself the space. I’m still trying to unravel a knot I tied with my own hands. However, I’m speaking it into reality: this is going to be a good fall, crisp and new.
Advertisements

One thought on “There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm. -Willa Cather

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s